


World Undone

by Hanasanaide



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Broken Engagement, Cheating, Depression, F/M, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light BDSM, M/M, Minor Eren/Historia, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, based on real experience to a degree
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2019-11-01 15:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17869961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanasanaide/pseuds/Hanasanaide
Summary: I did my best not to let my insecurities show to anyone. I kept them inside, locking them away behind bars made of iron. I swallowed any evidence that might have given me away, even as I asked her to marry me. I can’t even pinpoint when I began to develop these feelings. Was it just my anxiety? Or was this something more? Did I still love her? Was I still in love with her? She was the most understanding, thoughtful, kind-hearted partner I’ve ever had, and yet I still felt this way.God, what is wrong with me?Or where Eren is a college student and begins to doubt his relationship with his fiancée, the feelings only getting worse as he meets someone new.





	1. Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya.  
> So this came to me while I was driving today. It's based on something I'm currently going through plus some fiction, but I'd rather not say which parts are fact and which are fiction. I don't like Historia with Eren, but I needed someone pure and sweet, and I think she fits that better than anyone.  
> Just a heads-up, there is a lot of talk of anxiety, depression, and self-doubt. There are also mentions of abuse. If that bothers you please do not read this.  
> Also: if you are in an unsafe living environment, just know you are NOT stuck. Even if you feel like you are now, eventually you will be able to get out of that environment and onto something much better. Give it time, however hard it is to do so.  
> I haven't written anything in two years, but I finally found the passion again. I hope you guys can forgive if anyone seems out of character, as I am, like I said, basing it off of experience.  
> Enjoy, maybe?

One could say my life was perfect, if looked at from an outsider’s point of view. My family had extra money to spare between paychecks, allowing me to depend on them financially while I finished my degree in Literature at a local university. I didn’t have a lot of friends, but I had a small friend group I was very close with.

  
I also had a fiancée who was incredibly supportive of every decision I made. Historia was very understanding of my anxiety and everything that came with it. We were planning our wedding together, nothing in stone but a good foundation for it when the time came to start booking places. I loved her family, and my family loved her. We had a future planned out, where we would live, how many kids we wanted and what we would name them, what kind of dog we would get, even the color of the kitchen in our future house. Sure, we had our ups and downs, who doesn’t? But we always had each other at the end of the day and that was enough.

  
As I said, one might believe that I had a perfect life when looking at it in this way. But looks can be deceiving.

  
Yes, my parents did well financially, and I was able to live off them while in school. But people didn’t see the controlling, abusive side of them. People didn’t see the way I, at twenty-one years old, had to ask permission before going to the store in _their_ car, before I used _their_ car to go to a friend’s house. I also wasn’t allowed to leave the house after ten p.m. If I was hit with a depressive slump, barely leaving my bed for days at a time, and my room became unkempt, I was simply, “lazy.” And god forbid I get a B in a class. I was called names for every instance that I slipped up, which was frequently if you asked my parents. That’s not to say that my parents were horrible around the clock. My mom was my best friend some days. I could tell her almost anything, if she was in a good mood. My dad was another story. Out of the three hundred and sixty-five days of the year, I would say he and I got along about ten percent of the time. When he was angry, it was a dangerous situation.

  
But I was stuck living through this. If I had a stable income, I might have been able to get myself out of this situation, but with my anxiety, I had to focus on school. I had tried to maintain a job while in school, and it had resulted in getting a C overall in a class, something that had not been taken well by my parents.

  
As for my friends, my anxiety made it hard to make new friends. I often tried too hard when reaching out to classmates, and it showed. As I could see them back away from my attempts, I would often shrink into myself. I could see them judging me, sometimes even hear it in their tones if they even bothered to make conversation back at all. At one point, I did have more friends. But life happens, and people grow distant.

  
Armin and Mikasa were my best friends. Armin and I had met back in junior high, sticking with each other through the good and bad times of high school and into college. He was often busy pursuing his medical degree, spending time with his boyfriend, or working at one of his two jobs. Mikasa was my cousin, who honestly felt more like a sister with how much time she spent at my house. We fought about stupid, trivial things frequently, as siblings do, but no matter what argument we were in, we had each other’s backs. Mikasa was the only one who knew most of the abusive nature of my family, as she spent the most time at my house and the masks my parents often wore in front of people had to slip at some point. But not even Mikasa had seen them at their worst. Everyone has their secrets, and that was mine.

  
As I said, Historia was great. We met in high school, sharing a table in our art class. We had been dating since our junior year. She was an incredible significant other. She listened when I needed to rant. She didn’t mind if I had “anxiety days,” as we called them, where I didn’t answer her texts or calls for a couple of days. She understood that sometimes I was so overwhelmed I needed to just take a step back from everyone for some time before I could face the world again. Hands down, I was blessed to have Historia as my partner.

 

So why did I feel so much doubt? 

 

Why did I second guess myself with her?

 

Why did I feel unworthy of her love?

 

I did my best not to let my insecurities show to anyone. I kept them inside, locking them away behind bars made of iron. I swallowed any evidence that might have given me away, even as I asked her to marry me. I can’t even pinpoint when I began to develop these feelings. Was it just my anxiety? Or was this something more? Did I still love her? Was I still in love with her? She was the most understanding, thoughtful, kind-hearted partner I’ve ever had, and yet I still felt this way.

 

_God, what is wrong with me?_

 

“Eren? Ereeen? Eren Yeager!”

 

I jumped in my seat at the table of the student union where Mikasa, Historia, and I were having a late evening coffee date to kick off the new semester. The shout had been mere inches from my face, effectively ripping me from my thoughts of doubt. I blinked in surprise across the table at Mikasa. She was staring at me with an unimpressed glare.  
“Ahh, sorry, what did you say?” I smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head nervously with my free hand. My other hand was wrapped around the back of Historia’s chair.

 

“God, your attention span is that of an acorn!” Mikasa grumbled, shaking her head in disappointment. “I asked you when you had class tomorrow. Send me your schedule, so we can find time to meet between classes.”

 

“O-oh, right! I’ll send it now! I start at noon tomorrow for my literary analysis class,” I responded, using my free hand to dig my phone out of my pocket.

 

As I was maneuvering my way through the university homepage to get to the schedule tab, Mikasa’s phone rang, no doubt her boyfriend calling her. As I was hitting send on the screenshot to Mikasa, a soft, pale hand rested along mine. I glanced up at Historia. She was frowning as she grasped my hand in hers and inspected my thumb, blood having dried along my nail. I hadn’t realized I had done it to myself, but I assume it happened when I was deep in thought before Mikasa disturbed me.

 

“Eren, when are you going to stop biting your nails? You’ve made yourself bleed again,” she murmured quietly.

 

I hastily pulled my hand free and my arm from her chair. I pushed her blonde hair behind her ear as I spoke, “I’m trying my best to stop, you know that. But sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it.”

 

She paused, as if thinking about my response. As she was about to reply, Mikasa hung up with her boyfriend and addressed me once more.

 

“Eren, I’m stealing your fiancée here for a while. We have to head to the library to start on a project.”

 

“What do you mean start on a project? It’s the first day of the semester!” I exclaimed.

 

“Yeah, well, I want to get a head start on the thing. Historia already agreed, anyway,” she replied smugly.

 

“Historia, how could you!” I exclaimed, throwing my head back dramatically with a hand over my eyes and failing to contain my smile. “You’ve chosen my cousin over me!”

 

Historia blushed and shoved me lightly, a small smile forming on her lips as well as she stood up with her bookbag in hand. “Eren! Stop that! I’ll text you later, okay?”

 

“Suuuure,” I sighed, doing my best to look like a hurt puppy. As I got a not-so-intimidating glare from my fiancée, I dropped the dramatics and stood as well. I smiled and pecked her on the lips. “All right, all right! You girls go have fun with that. I’m going to head home for the night. Don’t work too hard, or you’ll wear yourself out before the semester barely begins!”

 

“Oh, whatever, mister procrastination. Some of us like to not intentionally stress ourselves out by waiting until the last minute,” Mikasa said with a roll of her eyes.

 

I waved goodbye to them both as I headed back to my car. I shielded myself from the slow rain outside with my coat-clad arm. Reaching my car, I turned the engine over and rubbed my hands together, waiting for the cold air to heat up some before I drove away.

 

Even with the soft melodies of the radio flowing through my car, my mind was at war, as it often was when I was alone. I could typically hold it at bay for some time before it built up and overflowed. But with this kind of weather, nothing seemed to help quiet the raging anxieties in my head. I cranked the pop music louder, in an attempt to drown the thoughts out with no such success.

 

When I got home, the sun already dipped past the horizon, I escaped to my room with no human contact. My mom was in her room, as she often was, and my dad was probably alongside her in bed. I dropped my book bag on my floor and trekked my way through the various items carelessly discarded on my floor. I sat on the edge of my bed and let myself fall back, body thumping onto the mattress audibly. I stared at my ceiling for a minute, studying it as I tried to think of how my second day of class would go tomorrow. I hoped I would at least be able to get through tomorrow without too many negative thoughts. I sighed as I closed my eyes. If I ignored the source of my anxiety, it would go away, right? If I hid it under masks full of fake self-confidence and an air of stability, it wasn’t actually happening, right?

 

A soft buzz roused me from my thoughts. I pulled my phone from my pocket go see Historia text me that she had gotten home safe and was headed to bed. I replied with my own goodnight, another sigh forcing its way from my lips. I was mentally exhausted, and the semester had yet to actually begin. Might as well actually try to sleep to keep from adding physically exhausted to that list as well.

 

I dressed myself in some pajamas and laid down for bed. I hope tomorrow won’t be as bad as my anxiety is making it out to be.


	2. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren begins the second day of classes at his university and meets someone he hadn't thought of in years.

Chapter 2

* * *

 

I double (and triple) checked my schedule to make sure I was in the right lecture hall. It was always nerve-wracking the first day of classes, hoping I had the right room and not accidentally sitting in on some crazy Calculus class or something. I sat towards the middle of the room, about a third of the way up the auditorium-arranged seats. There were about a hundred seats in the room, many of them taken already, despite the fifteen-minute wait before class began.

To my left, a girl sat a couple of seats away, already typing away at her laptop resting on the pull-out desk top attached to the chair. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a small bun and her blue eyes scanning the page she was on. Directly in front of me sat a brunette happily munching on a granola bar and talking with a young man with a shaved head.

When I looked to my right to find a guy with a dark undercut, notebook already resting on the desk top and pen twirling in his hand, I nearly gasped. His profile was breath-taking. With his angled nose and a defined jaw, he could easily be a model. I didn’t realize I had been staring until piercing steel eyes met mine. I jumped in my seat at their intensity and quickly made myself busy with examining the empty board, trying to ignore how my heart flipped when our eyes met.

“See something you like, kid? Take a picture next time, yeah? Might last a little longer,” a deep voice grumbled from my right.

“I- uh,” I fumbled, glancing back at the very attractive man. “I wasn’t- I didn’t mean to-”

“Forget it, kid. I was just messing around. No need to give yourself an aneurysm over it,” the brunet muttered back, graphite eyes flicking back to the board and pen never ceasing its twirl between his fingers.

Cheeks burning pink, I turned back to the board as the professor called for class to start. The professor welcomed us to his class and dove into explaining his syllabus, passing an attendance sheet around for everyone to sign.

I was zoning out as the man droned on about his no-phone and no-tardy policies when a paper was pushed an inch in front of my face. I jumped from the proximity, turning to look at the brunet who held the paper next to me. He stared at me smugly.

“The attendance sheet, brat,” he muttered quietly, lips turning up slightly as he spoke. “Not paying attention already on the first day?”

I grabbed the paper hastily, and he turned back to the board. I willed my cheeks not to turn red once more. I set the paper on my desk and signed my name. I glanced at the name above mine.

_Rivaille Ackerman_.

Why was that so familiar?

I passed the attendance sheet on the blonde to my left while I ran the name around in my head.

Besides the last name being the same as my cousin’s, why had I heard that name before?

* * *

 

As class concluded, I glanced to the male packing up his things next to me.

“So, uh…” I started. His blank slate eyes flitted over to me. “Are you from around here? Your name sounds familiar. Oh- I- I, uh, saw it on the attendance sheet!”

I saw the raise of his eyebrow and realized he hadn’t been the one to tell me his name. _Well now I definitely sound like a creep. Nice going, Eren._

“Yeah, I’m from around here, brat,” he replied, not bothering to elaborate as he stood. “See ya around, kid.”

“Ah- wait-” I tried, but he was already heading down the stairs. I hurriedly put my things away and bolted after him.

He had just made it through the doors into the hallway and into the sea of students. And then it hit me.

“Levi!” I called as I got to the hallway.

The brunet turned abruptly, eyes wide as he turned to me from a couple of people away. “What did you just call me?”

“Ah- You’re Levi, aren’t you? I’m-”

Suddenly there was a finger jabbing itself into my chest.

“There is only one person who can call me that, and he moved away a long time ago. Just who the hell do you think you are?” His seething reply came. Even though I had to look down at him, I still felt somewhat intimidated.

“It’s me!” I replied quickly, putting my hands up in surrender. “It’s Eren!”

His eyes widened once more, hand dropping limply to his side and mine following suit. “Eren?”

“Yeah! I moved back a couple of years ago! God, it’s been years since I’ve seen you, Levi!” I spoke nervously, one hand coming back up to rub anxiously at the back of my head.

He blinked a few times in astonishment, a soft smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “I never thought… I’d see you again, brat. It’s been a long time. You seem to have grown a whole foot since I saw you last.”

Levi had been my childhood friend. We grew up together from the time that we were three, until I had to move away with my parents when we were in junior high. We had lost touch over the years, despite the long friendship we had shared. Time and distance put strain on relationships, and unfortunately life got in the way of ours.

“I would say the same, but I think you’ve stayed the same height,” I laughed at the scowl he threw my way. “Sorry, sorry. Couldn’t resist. How have you been?”

He shifted his weight to the other foot from where we stood in the now empty corridor. “I’ve been all right. A lot has changed though, seeing as it’s been literal years,” he muttered the last part, graphite orbs inspecting the way as he did so.

My heart clenched as I heard the quiet, hurt tone he used. “Would you uh- would you like to catch up? Go get a coffee or something?” I asked hopefully.

“Sorry, brat. I have plans right now,” Levi said softly.

“Ah, okay! No problem! Some other time I guess!” I replied in a voice that hopefully sounded cheerful and not disappointed as I felt.

_Of course, he doesn’t want to go with you. You’re the one who left him all those years ago._

My self-doubt hit me like a tidal wave. I tried not to let the smile plastered on my face waver as the thoughts came flying at me full force.

A light punch to my shoulder got my attention. My eyes snapped from their place on the floor to the grey ones staring at me.

“How about I give you my number, and we can arrange a meeting for another time, yeah?” Levi asked.

I scrambled to get my phone out as I nodded enthusiastically. I handed him my phone, and his fingers glided across the screen as he entered his information. He handed my phone back to me.

“Thanks, Levi! I’ll text you, so you have my number, too,” I smiled genuinely at the brunet.

“Sounds good. See you around, kid,” he muttered back, turning on his heel and shifting his book bag on his shoulder as he headed towards the stairs.

I stayed standing there in a stupidly happy daze, watching as he left. I couldn’t believe how much he left. Whereas I had teased him about his height not changing, he actually had grown a decent amount. His hair was cut in a stylish undercut. The way his dark jeans clung to him showed off his lean yet muscular form. He even had a small stud in his left eyebrow and an industrial bar in his right ear. In short, he was attractive as all hell.

_Shit. I’m totally screwed._


	3. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings!! There is mentioned self-harm and panic attacks in this!  
> Extra long chapter because I didn't know how to stop myself. I had an idea of how I wanted this chapter to go and this was definitely not it, but I'm still happy with it. There is a bit of a time skip because what this is based off of (my experience) there was not much time between the reunion and the other events. I do not condone what happens in this chapter.
> 
> Mistakes were made, but can they recover from them?

Chapter 3

Time seemed to be passing quicker than I thought possible. We were already a month into the semester and the amount of homework, projects, and essays we had to turn in seemed to grow to an infinite amount.

But just like my workload grew, my self-doubt and anxiety grew right alongside it. I tried to ignore the burdensome thoughts about my feelings for Historia by burying myself in work and doing my best to avoid her, as if that could somehow make the anxieties disappear.

Levi, however, I met a couple times a week for various activities, be it a coffee date or hanging out after class. I learned all about the new things in his life that had changed since I saw him last. But overall, we went right back to joking with and teasing one another again as if we were back in eighth grade again.

Spending time with Levi reminded me of something I thought I had long since grown past: the feelings I had for him all those years prior. While I had found myself in those junior high years and owned my bisexuality (only to realize it was pansexuality years later), Levi had not figured out his sexuality until high school I had come to find out recently. We both had feelings for each other, but we weren’t sure what it meant with as young as we were.

Along with ignoring my anxieties about marrying Historia, I ignored the feelings that seemed to swell up every time I spent time with Levi, just as I was right at this moment.

“Ugh! Levi, no fair! You’re definitely cheating!” I groaned, flopping back against the couch where we sat playing video games in his living room.

“I’m not cheating, brat. You just suck,” he muttered back, a smirk gracing his lips as he set up the game for the next round.

“Hey! I do not suck!” I squawked, sitting up halfway to shove Levi, who barely budged from his seated position.

Levi calmly set his controller down and turned to me slowly. I knew I was in deep shit for shoving him the second I met his steel orbs, fierce with annoyance.

The next thing I knew I was being shoved sideways on the couch until my back lay flat on it. And then Levi’s fingers went to town on my sides, tickling me until I was pink in the face from laughing.

“L-Levi! I g-give! I give!” I cried, laughing between words and taking a heaving breath as his fingers ceased.

As we both calmed down, the predicament we landed in seemed to hit us both at the same time. Levi was straddling my lap with his legs on either side of my hips to hold me steady, both hands under my shirt on my stomach and fingers splayed out. I had my hands on his wrists and my eyes locked on his stormy ones. The only sounds in the room were the background music of the abandoned game on the tv and the soft pants of me trying to catch my breath. I bit my lip, not wanting to make a sound that might break the moment.

Levi’s hand suddenly left my stomach and broke free from my now slack grip on his wrist to reach for my face, thumb coming up to pull my lip from the grasp of my teeth. His eyes were darting between my eyes and my lips now. He leaned down hesitantly and slowly, pausing when our lips were a few inches from the other’s. A light pink hue took over my face as he began to close the last distance between us, eyes fluttering shut.

_Ring!_

We broke apart just before our lips touched, Levi nearly falling off the couch in the abrupt movement. As the ringtone on my phone continued to sound off, I quickly sat up and grabbed it, glancing at the screen to see a picture of Historia. I swallowed harshly at the reality of what almost happened, putting the phone to my ear and trying to sound less panicked than I was.

“H-hi,” I stuttered in the phone, slightly out of breath and wincing at my own stutter.

“Eren? Is everything okay? I’m just calling to see how you’re doing. I haven’t seen much of you these days, you know?” Historia tried to conceal her anxious tone with a laugh.

“U-uh, yeah! Everything is fine! I just uh- I was watching a scary movie, so the sound of my phone ringing kind of startled me is all,” I laughed awkwardly, glancing to where Levi was the last time I saw him, but he was nowhere in sight. “I’m fine, though. Sorry I have been MIA lately. School work has kinda kept me busy, ya know?”

“Sorry for scaring you, goofball,” she laughed. “I figured you were busy with school, but I wanted to check in because it’s been like eight days since I last talked to you. Are you still able to come to dinner with my family tomorrow night?”

I cursed mentally. I had completely forgotten about the dinner. I had already made plans with Levi to go see a movie with him. _Shit_.

“Ah- yeah! I can do that. This movie is really calling my name, though! So, I’ll text you after a bit, okay?” I replied as cheerfully as I could, tossing my free hand over my eyes to scrub down my face.

“Okay! I’ll talk to then!”

I hung up without another word, sighing loudly and raking my hand through my hair roughly. I tossed my phone on the couch and made my way to Levi’s bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, but I knocked anyway. When I received a raspy, ‘come in,’ I headed inside, walking closer to his bed where Levi was on his back, scrolling through his phone with one hand. I shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot.

“So… uh-” I was at a lose of what to say. I bit furiously at my thumb. _God, what do I say after what just happened between us?_

“Sorry,” he muttered softly, beginning to sit up to look at me. “I overstepped my boundaries. I shouldn’t have- hey!” he jumped up and grabbed my hand from where I had been biting it. “Stop that. You’re making yourself bleed, brat.”

I winced and stared at the ground, flinching from the sudden grip on my hand. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

The firm grip on my hand turned gentle as a soft tone called, “Eren.”

I was lost in the roaring noise in my ears, trying desperately to keep my breathing even as I met Levi’s eyes. I plastered a grin on my face with as much cheerfulness as I could manage given the buzzing in my ears and the shortness of breath I felt. I pulled my hand from his grip and held back another wince when he let my hand slip from his without resistance. Even as I pulled away from him, I wanted him to hang on to me and not let go.

“Hey, I have to get going! My paper isn’t going to write itself, right?” I laughed and took a shaky step backwards towards the door, feeling my tidal wave of anxiety beginning to form. _Not good. I need to get to my car and fast._ “This was fun, though! Let’s do it again soon, yeah? I’ll text you later.”

“Eren-” Levi tried, but I had already turned my back to him, taking wobbly steps towards the door.

I was one step from the door when suddenly the storm hit me full force. My legs gave out under me, and I grabbed my chest through my shirt with a tightened fist. _Shit, shit, shit._

I heard my muffled name being called behind me as I gasped for air. I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out, barely making out the feeling of my own thumb being forced from the vice-grip my teeth had on it. Once my thumb had been freed, I felt pressure on one of shoulders and another pressure on my cheek. I could feel my body trembling against the weight placed on my body.

“Listen to my voice, Bright Eyes. Open your eyes, and look at me,” a soft voice made its way through my ears.

I opened my eyes to see Levi crouched in front of me with one hand on my cheek and the other on my shoulder.

“That’s it. Just focus on me,” the other male spoke softly. “Try to take a deep breath with me, yeah?”

I did as he said, taking a shaky long breath and watching a small gentle smile upturn Levi’s lips. One deep breath turned into two and two into three and so on.

“Back with me, Bright Eyes?”  Levi tried again.

“Y-yeah…” I stuttered, eyes dropping to the ground in shame. _What the hell is wrong with me? I have never had a panic attack in front of anyone besides my parents before, and that didn’t end well._ “S-sorry.”

The warm hand on my cheek moved to take my chin between a thumb and a forefinger, tilting my chin up and effectively captivating my gaze with his own once more.

“Never apologize for having a panic attack, Eren,” Levi said quietly. “Are you okay? What can I do to help? Do you want to lay down? Do you need a drink?”

I was entirely perplexed. As I said, I had never shown my panic attacks to anyone other than my parents, and this was a complete 180 to the reaction I got from my parents.

“I- uh, I’m okay. Th-thanks,” I murmured, glancing down at our intertwined fingers. When had he grabbed my hand? Or did I grab his? I wasn’t sure.

Seeing my eyes dart to our hands, Levi squeezed mine softly. “Can you stand, Bright Eyes?” When I nodded, he stood and pulled me with him slowly by our joined hands. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

Levi led us down the hallway, pausing to grab a first aid and a washcloth out of the linen closet before heading into the bathroom. He finally let go of my hand, suddenly grabbing my hips and hoisting me onto the sink. I made a very unattractive squawk of shock at being picked up.

“Sorry, brat. I know with our height differences this isn’t exactly the most ideal setup, but like hell am I having you sit on the disgusting ass toilet,” he muttered, lip curled back in disgust as he set the first aid kit next to me on the counter and wetting the washcloth.

I chuckled softy at his tone of absolute disgust, watching as Levi bent down in a semi-crouch as he took my hand with such gentleness, you’d think he was handling an injured kitten. He began dabbing softly at the teeth marks that littered my hand. I winced every so often, eliciting a quiet ‘sorry’ from the male taking care of me. When he was satisfied that he had cleaned off all of the blood that had bubbled to the surface, he moved on to wrapping my hand in a long bandage, rolling the tan material around my thumb and palm.

I was so mesmerized by his graceful fingers working on my hands I almost didn’t realize he was done bandaging me up until he stood back up.

“Thanks, Levi,” I murmured quietly, eyes lingering on the bandages on my hand in curiosity. I had never had someone take care of me with such care. I had never had someone not become immediately angry at me for this bad habit of mine, Historia included.

“Don’t mention it, kid,” Levi replied, grabbing my hips once more to pull me off the counter as my own hand went to his shoulders for support.

When my feet hit the ground, neither one of us let go of the other right away. In fact, Levi seemed to step closer to me, backing me into the edge of the counter and pressing himself against me. We locked eyes, seafoam meeting steel with a plethora of emotions behind both sets of orbs. I traveled my hand up his neck and resting it against his cheek, thumb gently stroking against the soft pale skin there. My eyes darted down to Levi’s lips for a second before they met his once more. He looked at war with himself, trying to decide between what he wanted to do and what he knew he shouldn’t. I made the decision for him.

I crashed my lips against his, feeling his move against mine the second they touched. His grip on my hips increased in pressure as our kiss grew more heated, and I moved my hand to grip at the long portion of his undercut on the back of his head. As Levi pushed his body against mine, I broke the kiss to let out an embarrassing noise I had never heard myself make before. I didn’t have a chance to even be flustered at my body’s reaction, as his lips were on my neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses down the length of it. I tilted my head to the side with another quiet moan, closing my eyes and rolling my hips against his. In response to the friction I offered to him, he let out a growl, and I swear I could have come right there in my pants. Levi trailed his mouth back up my neck and began to kiss my lips once more. He leaned into me and made me lean back towards the sink, and suddenly I was slipping. I fell backwards, and my head collided less than gently with the mirror behind me.

I let out a surprised yelp, lips disconnecting from Levi’s as I had slipped from his grasp from the wetness of the counter. Levi’s hands didn’t leave from my hips, and I reached up to press a hand to my sore head, letting out a groan of annoyance. And then I made eye contact with Levi, who looked to be fighting a smile. The second our eyes met, however, he lost the battle, and we both burst into laughter. Levi moved a hand to hold his side as he laughed, leaning forward to lean his head to my reclined chest that was slumped against the mirror and sink. I carded my hand through his hair as we calmed down from the laughing fits.

“Smooth move, brat,” he smirked, standing back up straight, offering me his hands to pull me to my feet.

“Hey!” I barked, “That’s not fair! That was totally your fault! You leaned into me!”

“Mhm, sure, kid,” he grinned at the huff I gave him. “Come on, brat. Let’s go get you a water. Seems like you’re pretty thirsty.”

I turned to grab the bottle of soap with the intent of chucking it at the smirking asshole’s face, when another kiss was pressed to my lips, effectively killing the thought of throwing the soap at Levi. The kiss was only a peck before Levi exited the bathroom and headed towards the kitchen.

Taking a moment to collect myself and cool the blush that rose to my cheeks, I followed the shorter man after a few seconds. As I entered the kitchen, Levi pulled out two water bottles from the refrigerator. He approached me, and I held my hand out to take one of the water bottles, but the hand I reached for passed my hand and headed upwards.

I let out an offended yelp as the cold, wet plastic was pressed to my heated cheek. I scrambled to grab it out of his grip and off of my flushed skin. Once the water was in my possession, I glared at the laughing raven in front of me.

“What the hell was that for?” I grumbled, angrily twisting the cap off of the bottle and beginning to sip at the liquid.

“You looked like you needed to chill out, kid. I was just helping out,” Levi smirked.  

I mocked him under my breath, muttering and rolling my eyes.

“Did you just roll your eyes at me?” A strong voice came suddenly. A strong voice that made me snap my eyes to Levi and made my knees a little weak.

“I- uh-” I stumbled for an answer, surprised at his sudden change in attitude.

Levi set his water bottle on the counter and walked towards me. I backed up with a gulp as my back bumped into the kitchen wall behind me. Strong pale arms caged me in by the sides of my head, Levi leaning in close to my face with only a few inches separating us.

“Did you,” he paused, “roll your eyes at me, Princess?”

I scoffed at the name, about to retort when I noticed the fire in his eyes. My response died in my throat as Levi went to lean the rest of the way in to my lips. I closed my eyes and awaited my kiss, but it never came. I peeked out from under my eyelashes to see he had leaned back out of my space with a smirk on his face.

“Waiting for something, Princess?” he asked, one arm still resting next to my face on the wall, forearm flat against it.  

“N-no! Don’t be mean!” I wailed, scrubbing my hands down my face once, willing the heat in my cheeks away. “And what’s with that nickname! Even Historia doesn’t-”

I stopped myself as soon as I realized my mistake, but the damage was done. Levi’s expression grew hard, and he leaned away from me, moving across the kitchen to where he had left his water bottle. He angrily ripped the cap off noisily, making me flinch.

“You should probably head out. I have work I need to get done,” came the stony cold reply, back to me.

My eyes dropped to the floor, biting my lip for a second as the feeling of guilt and fear coursed through my veins with its icy bite. “Y-yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ll go now then.”

I turned swiftly and made my hurried escape to the front door. I shoved my feet into my slip-on Vans that lay by the door. I pressed down on the little handle on the storm door handle and made my descent down the steps. I fumbled to get my keys out of my pocket, struggling in vein as my eyes blurred for some reason.

“Brat, wait,” Levi called, pushing open the storm door and headed down the steps barefoot.

I didn’t turn to face him as I felt the telltale sign of tears as I tried to unlock my car with my key quickly. A hand landed on my shoulder and made me flinch, dropping my keys with a scared whimper that wasn’t supposed to come out.

“Oh, Eren,” Levi whispered softly, “I’m not going to hurt you, Bright Eyes. Look at me. Come on, that’s it.”

I slowly turned to him, dragging my guilt-filled eyes from the pavement to his stormy grey eyes. I quickly wiped at my face with my hands, trying to rid myself of my tears that seemed to be ever-flowing today. Levi cupped my cheek and sighed softly, the pad of his thumb rubbing under my eye to wipe away the trail of tears.

“You with me, Bright Eyes?” When I nodded he continued, “Good. I’m sorry, Eren. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry with you.”

“S’okay,” I mumbled. “Anyone would have done the same.”

“No, I shouldn’t have.. Not when I know how your parents..” he trailed off with a sigh, letting his hand drop from my cheek and taking a step back. He changed the topic when he saw the uncomfortable look in my eyes. “Are we still good to go see that movie tomorrow, kid?”

“I- uh.. I can’t go,” I murmured, leaning down to pick up my forgotten keys from the concrete below.

“Huh? And why not? Look, if this is because I kissed you, I’m sorry, Eren, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still hang out,” Levi sighed in irritation, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Ah, it’s not that. I..” I bit my lip and unlocked my car, briefly turning my back to him to do so before turning back to face him. _Shit, do I tell him the truth?_

“Then what is it, brat? I know you wanted to go see this stupid movie,” he grumbled back.

“That movie is not stupid!” I glared into the grey orbs in front of me before staring at the ground once more. “I, ah, I forgot I have to go to dinner with Historia’s family,” I said the last part quietly, feeling the tension building once more.

“I see. Well have fun with that. While you’re at it, why don’t you go see that movie with your fucking fiancée? Clearly she’s more important,” Levi gritted his teeth and turned around, heading towards his house.

“Levi- that’s not-”

“Save it, Princess. I don’t want to hear it,” he stepped up onto his porch, not bothering to cast me a glance as he started to head inside.

“Fine! I’ll see it with her! She _is_ my fiancée, you know! Maybe she won’t think it’s stupid like you do!” I yelled angrily, anger flaring up suddenly at the whirlwind of emotions Levi was throwing at me.

The only answer I got in reply was the front door slamming shut and the glass of the storm door rattling on its hinges.

I quickly got in my car, jamming my key in the ignition and turning it over. I slammed my hand into my steering wheel with a frustrated groan, only to gasp as I hit the bandaged hand into the wheel. I looked down at the bandaged hand with a glare, eyes softening slightly at the sight as I remembered the care with which Levi wrapped it. _I am so fucked._

I backed out of his driveway and threw it in drive when I got to the street. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and quickly pulled up my favorite contact list, hitting the one I needed and pressing the phone to my ear as I drove towards my home away from home with the ringing filling my head.

“Hello?”

“Armin, are you free? I need to talk.”


End file.
